he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
