What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
