so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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