The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
