so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
