You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
