I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
