I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize