You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
