So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
