why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
