I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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