She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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