Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
