marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
This is the high leading the old right now
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
