what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
