just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
