I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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