You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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