Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Randomize
