Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
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