i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
