Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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