I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
