Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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