Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I am naked and annoyed.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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