3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
there is puke in my bra ... again
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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