wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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