She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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