we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
