WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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