I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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