The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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