There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
