Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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