Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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