That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Houston, we have a squirter
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
