I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
