belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Randomize
