Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize