her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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