so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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