She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize