she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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