and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
