i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
