If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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