watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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