you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
