I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
my poor anus
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Randomize
