i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
