I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
