I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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