one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
