Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Come on in and take your pants off
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