According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
