I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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