no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
