Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
