Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize