Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
