we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
