So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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