Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
