Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
