your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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