i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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