I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
