i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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