i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
