I wanna passion pit in your ass
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
