He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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